"You think I don't know. About artifice. About what that means, to show the world one self because it's what they want to see."
She's a little bit angry, a little defensive.
"You think I never learned how to pretend? Maybe that just means I've been doing it too well. After Pylea I got really good at it, at pretending nothing's wrong because there just wasn't time for anything to be wrong. And it's not what you needed me for, you and Angel and Charles and the rest. There wasn't room for the girl who came back from Pylea and wrote on walls and wasn't quite all there even when she was. Nobody knows what happened back there, how I survived, the things I did to stay alive, and you know why? Because nobody asked. You never once saw me as strong enough to handle any of the really bad stuff. When in reality I think is was all of you who didn't want to face those parts of me."
There's an echo of forgotten fierceness in her words, an echo of the long-buried determined girl who'd fought for her life and won, at least up until the one time she didn't, the one time nobody would really tell her about. Sometimes she thinks they forgot that about her.
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Date: 2006-06-24 08:14 am (UTC)She's a little bit angry, a little defensive.
"You think I never learned how to pretend? Maybe that just means I've been doing it too well. After Pylea I got really good at it, at pretending nothing's wrong because there just wasn't time for anything to be wrong. And it's not what you needed me for, you and Angel and Charles and the rest. There wasn't room for the girl who came back from Pylea and wrote on walls and wasn't quite all there even when she was. Nobody knows what happened back there, how I survived, the things I did to stay alive, and you know why? Because nobody asked. You never once saw me as strong enough to handle any of the really bad stuff. When in reality I think is was all of you who didn't want to face those parts of me."
There's an echo of forgotten fierceness in her words, an echo of the long-buried determined girl who'd fought for her life and won, at least up until the one time she didn't, the one time nobody would really tell her about. Sometimes she thinks they forgot that about her.